Friday, January 28, 2011

Day 60 - Feedback Friday

Day 60.

My mailbag's really been backed up, guys. Mostly with pictures of readers' dicks, but there are occasionally a couple of insightful emails in there. I've listed some of them below.

So you know the deal. Email me, say a little about yourself/where your from, and boom! You're mildly famous! Also, still accepting nominations and category ideas for the Julie/Julia Awards--do it.


From Mike W.

So right, you do a blog on the internet right? Imagine if instead of
boring ugly racially insensitive words, you could do one post with
amazing beautiful racially sensitive(not much better) VIDEO BLOG!


yours relatively sincerely,


p.s. you may have read my email address and realised I am not infact
called Aslan, I'm sorry. I just wanted to be cool like Ayberk.

SIGNATURE (except it's not really a signature as I don't know how to
do those so I'm just going to type it out again :sigh:)

p.s. I didn't really sigh earlier, sorry about lying.

p.p.s are you even alowed to do p.s' on email signatures?

p.p.p.s or should that be p.s's?

p.p.p.p.s google says it's p.s's

p.p.p.p.p.s I suppose I could have just deleted all that and this for
that matter, I won't don't worry.

p.p.p.p.p.p.s although if I had deleted that you wouldn't of noticed
since you wouldn't have seen it...

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s unless you have developed some sort of...

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s ok

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s this

p,p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s is

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s getting

p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s silly


Hey Mike/Aslan,

The 'ol extended P.S, P.P.S... bit, eh? A little trite/middle school for my taste, but you make up for it by pretending to have an awesome name. I happened upon Prince Caspian over winter break at like 3 a.m. and it was awesome. Mostly, because of this scene.

Whoever's idea it was to give the bear a mentally retarded-sounding voice deserves a giant fucking raise. I was literally on the floor in tears from laughter. It might have helped that I did a bunch of shrooms beforehand. And by "doing shrooms," I mean picking off all of the mushrooms of leftover Papa John's and then eating them all at once.

Oh and to answer your question, Mike/Aslan, I've definitely been looking into some video blogging options for the near future i.e. some sort of liveblog play-by-play commentary or maybe a one-man show-style youtube reenactment of the whole film. The reason I haven't done it yet? Need to work off all my extra weight for the camera. You guys don't know it, but I weigh 4,325 lbs and am permanently bed-ridden. Why the fuck else do you think I would watch this movie every day? You really think a guy who could walk and not have to wash himself with a towel on a stick would do this? Idiotz.

Mad Respect,

P.S. TLDR? I read that and I thought to myself is he saying "talk to you later?" But honestly, I couldn't even tell you how I got there. I'd much prefer if it stood for something like "tit-licking doo-rag." My two cents.


From Gina C.

Hi Lawrence,

I'd just like to say that your blog has conditioned me to see Mark Ruffalo and immediately think "totally should have been in Julie & Julia." Also, here's a picture of Mark Ruffalo (via Fashionista) proudly releasing his epically, awfully hairy chest from the confines of a hideously fringed coat.


Gina C.
The Magnificent Creature known by his Earth name as Mark Ruffalo
Hey Gina,

Wow. You'll have to excuse me--I'm going to take your email into the bathroom and I won't be back for like, 20 minutes. You know, just to admire it in a place free from distractions (and God's wrath). Thanks a bundle. And if you have any other Mark Sexallo pics, you know where to send 'em.
Mad Respect,


From Ari F.

Hey L-Dawg,

In reference to post #22 - Did you know that "Colonel" is pronounced "k3rnel?" We did, but we didn't know why. Now we do thanks to Wikipedia. Donate now, por favor.  They've reached like 10 million or something.  Also, we really want to see Spiderman on Broadway.  We def think it's worth all the injuries and death because we are essentially selfish fish. We mean, humans.  Actually, we mean spiders.  Seriously though - if you get tickets, can we come with you?  Thanks.  Also, We (as in the almighty) hate Julia Powell - we're not sure if that's how you spell it even though we've been reading your blog for the past 2 hours, but she's not important enough to look up.  Also, why did you put the kitkats in the microwave?

Thanks for reading, we love you -

Oren and Ari (Gods)

Hey Oren and Ari,

How the hell did you know my parent's nickname for me? When I was little, I used to go around smelling other neighborhood babies' butts and pissing on fire hydrants and thus, the nickname L-Dawg was born. That's so weird that you guys knew that! I don't really know what you're talking about with the whole "k3rnel" thing. Ker-three-nel? What? You guys are probably high. In fact, most of my readers are probably high. Note to self: figure out how many of my readers are high.

But yeah, shit guys. If you get me a ticket to Spider-Man, I'll definitely go with you. Look for me in New York sometime--I'll be the guy with the big glasses and dirty mustache, driving my rape van.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Rape Van!
Mad Respect,
Lawrence (Not God)


From Lily G.

Dear Mr. Lawrence Dai,

I found your blog a few weeks ago and I think it's hilarious and very well done. There's just one thing that's been bugging me and after hearing your NPR interview today (which by the way, was fine, really!), I felt like I just had to say something.

It's about the fact that you regret starting this project and you dread having to watch Julie & Julia every day. I just want to say: You know you can stop, right? I mean, all of us readers enjoy the giggles you give us every day, so we're getting something out of it. And you must be getting some good things out of it, like practicing writing humor and getting interviewed on NPR and, I don't know, learning about butter? But if the things you're getting out of it aren't worth the pain and torture that must come with watching 730 hours of the same movie, then you should stop, and not feel like you have to continue just because you said you would.

So I, on behalf of the Internet (because I totally have the right to speak for the Internet), am giving you permission to end your project if you want to. Really, it's okay! We won't think badly of you! We're surprised you've gotten this far, and 100 hours is an amazing feat in and of itself which you can be proud of.

You could even keep up the blog if you wanted to! You seem like a funny guy, I'm sure you could find other things to post about, though of course you shouldn't feel pressured to keep posting every day if you don't want to. Just an idea in case you're sticking to this project for the blog. But if you wanted to just quit altogether, that's cool too! You should do whatever makes you happy, is what I'm saying.

If you were just joking about regretting it and you're actually enjoying this project and your internet quasi-fame, then by all means, carry on! Like I said, your blog is hilarious! But I don't know, the thought that you felt forced to keep watching the movie just made me feel so bad and moved me to reach out with this nosy none-of-by-business email to a complete stranger.

Feel free to just ignore me if I don't know what I'm talking about,

Mad respect?

--Lily G.
Hey Lily,

That was probably the nicest, most sincere reader email I've ever gotten. Like seriously, I don't even know how to respond to that aside from saying that you are one heck of a gal, Lily G. As a world-renowned stunt blogger, I do feel a lot of outside pressure to keep up this stunt blog (at least until you guys get sick of it). That being said, I really would not be doing this if I didn't somewhat enjoy it/solicit cyber-sex from all of my readers. I really, really, really appreciate your concern and for giving the permission to quit, which I will definitely hold onto, but I assure you that right now, this blog is what makes me happy. Do I dread having to watch the movie every day? Sure. Do I loathe people without crazy every-day-for-a-year blogs? A little. But would I take it all back? Almost certainly.

But hey, if I can make people like you laugh a little every day, then my procrasturbation has certainly paid off. Lily G., you are my hero and my muse. May you live forever.

Mad Respect,


Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "You have 700 pages of just sauce and poultry recipes."

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