Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Day 99 - Julia de Milo

Day 99.

So today, I clicked on my Netflix Julie & Julia bookmark out of sheer habit, forgetting that the instant streaming option had expired today.

No blue "play" button? That can't be right.

And for the briefest of moments, I was free--just like how the inmates in The Shawshank Redemption feel when Andy plays the opera record over the PA system.

Yes, I do see myself as somewhat of a prisoner--is it that far off, really? I mean, I bet real prisoners get to watch other movies too. Just saying. I really wish I was watching this movie every day instead of fucking Julie & Julia. Also, I hope that somewhere they are recording Morgan Freeman saying every word in the English language with every tone inflection so they'll be able to manipulate it to do voiceovers for the rest of time. But I digress.

Today marked the first time I watched Julie & Julia on DVD and... well, I hate to disappoint you all, but it wasn't any different. I was however, pleased with cool graphic sequence on the DVD menu screen. I watched that for a good 10 minutes.

Charmingly simplistic!

Knowing that I have another 266 days to explore all the special features of the DVD, I won't go into it now--got to pace myself. I will say that I'm excited to be rid of the lagging that sometimes plagued the Netflix stream. There's no reason to have to wait even longer for this movie to finish.

Maybe it was due to the DVD or the slight change in ritual, but today I noticed something out of the ordinary during my daily viewing. In the scene where Simone Beck and Avis DeVoto ask Julia to be a co-author of their cookbook, there's this weird statue in the background--what looks to me like a female version of Michelangelo's famous sculpture David. It's basically David with boobs. Fucking French people, right?

Then I thought to myself, "Wait, I have definitely seen this sculpture before. It's probably super famous and my inability to identify it is going to let everyone know that I am secretly an idiot," as I rapidly typed "armless naked woman" into my google image search. Two hours later, I proceeded to add the word "statue" to my search query.

So yeah, I was right. This statue is super famous. And my inability to identify it has now outed me as a woefully ignorant and uncultured buffoon. I can, however, pretty much recite every episode of the 90s Nickelodeon show Hey Arnold! for you. So if you need me to do that, then yeah.


Ladies and gentlemen, the Venus de Milo (I really should've known this from that episode of The Simpsons. Guess I didn't recognize it in non-gummy form.). I never understood why these statues are always missing limbs. What is so artsy about amputees? Nothing. I don't see the appeal (This statement is much funnier with the knowledge that I am fully erect right now).

This new revelation begs the inevitable question, "Why the fuck is the Venus de Milo just chilling in some goddamn French restaurant?" Like really, shouldn't this priceless and iconic work of art be in the Louvre or some shit? Not just hanging out by a table, just waiting for some little snot-nosed French kid to knock it over. Hey, maybe that's how it lost its arms in the first place. Fucking carelessness, people.

More likely, though, is that the set designers of Julie & Julia thought to themselves, "Oh hey, we need a way for those idiots out there watching our movie to know that we're back in France." And then some genius chimed in, "I know! Let's stick the Venus de Milo behind Julia in this lunch scene! People associate famous works of art with France." It's really the only explanation.

I mean, I guess the one in the restaurant is supposed to be some sort of replica or something--but that's stupid. I like to think Julie & Julia spent all of their budget on renting the authentic Venus de Milo out for this one shot, which is pretty wasteful, knowing that money could've been used to hire script doctors and the actual Mark Ruffalo.

Goddamn idiots.

Oh, and be sure to check back here tomorrow--I've got a sweetass post prepared for the Lawrence/Julie & Julia Project's big 100th day!


Julie & Julia 
Quote of the Day: "Would you do it, Julia?" 

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