Monday, June 27, 2011

Day 210 - Trailer Park

Day 210.

Today, I realized that I've never seen the trailer for Julie & Julia. Sure, I've seen the movie itself 210 times, but never the trailer. Bizarre, right? Well that can be easily fixed. Let's live-blog this bitch.

0:00 - 0:05 - Rated PG-13 for "Brief Strong Language and Some Sensuality" a.k.a. Julie Powell calling herself a bitch and multiple Meryl Streep sex scenes

0:05 - 0:08 - Smart to open with the black & white Julia Child cooking show shot, a definite appeal to nostalgia (read: old people). "I'm Julia Child. Bon Appetit." What else is there to say?

0:08 - 0:16 - Julie Powell voice-over: "Before she changed the world, Julia Child was just an American living in France..." And you are "just" an American living in America. Stop knocking Americans, Julie Powell.

0:16 - 0:25 - "What is it that you really like to do? Eat." SMASH CUT TO: Julia Child, at 500 lbs.

0:25 - 0:38 - "But what does Julia Child have to do with me, lowly cubicle worker Julie Powell?" Frankly, not much. This is why your movie kind of sucks.

0:38 - 0:43 - Establishing that Julie Powell's friends are all the worst, a calculated move by the big studio executives who believe that all women have dreadful friends and will want to see dreadful friends on the big screen.

0:43 - 0:50 -  Julie Powell: "Do you think I'm lost? Is this lost? If you met me, would you think that woman is lost?" Not Mark Ruffalo: "I would think that woman is strangely repetitive."

THIS SCENE IS NOT ACTUALLY IN JULIE & JULIA. They probably deleted it in the time between when the trailer was cut and the theatrical release. It's rather weird to see this extraneous scene now, after I know the movie so well. It's like these characters live separate lives away from me.

0:50 - 0:54 - "Did you hear what happened to this one?" "Showtime bought my blog for a miniseries." This was another scene that was presumably left on the cutting-room floor considering that it didn't make it into the final product. I can see why.

Had they included this unbearable "Omg my blog got a Showtime miniseries" scene in the actual film, I don't think I'd be here blogging today. I'd be in prison for murdering everyone involved in the making of this movie.

0:54 - 2:31 - A bunch of enjoyable Julia Child shit, a bunch of not-so-enjoyable Julie Powell shit. And all to some generic happy-go-lucky trailer music/pop songs since the soundtrack probably wasn't finalized at this point. Other than the deleted scenes, this trailer is a pretty good representation of the film as a whole and on top of that, it's 2 hours shorter! That being said, I still couldn't manage to blog about the entire thing. God, I despise this movie.


Julie & Julia Quote of the Day: "Threaten her? With what?"

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