Monday, August 15, 2011

Day 253 - I Got Burned

Day 253.

Today, while assisting my sister-in-law prepare a beef roast for dinner, I burned myself on a fucking meat thermometer. The damned thing was, dare I say it...? Hot as a stiff cock!

Fuck you, meat thermometer! Why didn't you tell me you were scalding hot? I mean, just because you were in the oven for a half an hour and your temperature gauge was way up in the red area doesn't necessarily mean you were hot!

Fuck you, oven! This whole thing is a giant conspiracy!

Fucking hand burns, man. I forgot how much they hurt. For those of you who were wondering, they hurt a lot. And you underestimate how often you use your hands too. I mean, I use my hands at least 4-7 times/day. This is going to be incredibly inconvenient for me here on out. I blog with that hand! What am I supposed to do now? typikh witfhg ma noees/>?

How did neither Julie nor Julia ever burn themselves to the point of visceral career-ending pain during this shitty movie? I imagine with all the cooking they did, they'd at least grab a red-hot meat thermometer or two in the process.

Maybe I'm just a pansy. After all, I have watched Julie & Julia more times than most other guys (correction: more than EVERYONE IN THE WORLD).


Julie & Julia
Quote of the Day: "You burned the stew?"

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